Article I wrote for a newsletter: Sometimes things cannot progress without movement, as they are standing still. As this can mean big changes and the unknown of what may lie ahead. The idea of change can create fear and doubt, causing constant barriers of why not to move forward. Standing still in a situation you have become accustomed to, can be difficult to break through, as it is something that is very familiar to you. Anything that is unfamiliar can bring up unpleasant thoughts and emotions. Often worries about things going wrong. So it can seem much harder to move towards an idea, rather than moving away from the current experience. There is a sense of comfort in the familiar, even though you might no be completely satisfied.
So what does this mean and how can you break through such a situation and a way of thinking. Well from my experience with clients and even my own self, the ideas that seem so distant and seem so difficult, are actually very achievable once you start to explore and talk about these. What tends to happen is you get caught up in fear, anxiety and a sense of threat to the degree of comfort of what is known and experienced so far. The idea of something new can be both exciting and frightening. It can be so unnerving that you look for ways to sabotage your own goals and ideas. These are self created obstacles. Making excuses of why you cannot do something, using distractions as valid justifications, creating an ongoing cycle you created, reminding you of what is stopping you from achieving your goals and manifesting your desires. “I would like to spend more time with my kids, but I am too busy and tired with work”, “I would like to go and do some volunteer work but I’m not sure where to start so I tend to forget”, “I would like to travel more but I can't afford to”, “I have been so busy lately that I don't even have time to think”, “I want to meditate more but I'm constantly distracted at home”, “I would like to apply for that new role at work but I’m not sure if I'm skilled enough or will be good at it”. These are endless. And let me tell you, these are examples of a lot of your own self limiting beliefs. It means that you yourself had chosen to think in a way that would stop you from heading towards your goal, because deep down there is a voice that doubts your own self and motivations.
No one wants to fail. But in order for something to change, steps need to be taken for change to happen. The change itself makes a lot of people very nervous. Human nature works well with routines, comfort and a familiar way of thinking and being. If this is somehow threatened, the emotions will most certainly show you how you might be feeling about this. So even though you would like to get that new role and try something new, a part of you may be resistant as its is something different, getting you to think about this before taking action. This process of thinking can be fine in its self. It gets problematic if you think too much about it and get stuck, once fear kicks in. You start thinking that it is no longer a good idea and you continue with the same way of life. If your interests kept coming up again and again and you would talk yourself out of it again and again, then that can be a sign of resistance to your own voice and needs.
So how do you tackle this?
1. Well firstly notice your your thoughts and if they have been repetitive. 2. Then notice your feelings and what they have been telling you. It is very common for the feelings to be conflicting. For example feeling motivated and then apathetic, excited and anxious. 3. Notice the excuses that you tend to make that ultimately contribute to not achieving your goals. 4. How often do you blame others or even events that stop you from getting what you want? 5. After some self reflection, remember that you do have a choice and the direction of your life is based on the choices that you make. 6.Track your reasoning for these choices and where you are today. It is important to acknowledge and feel grateful for what you already have in your life.
Moving forward can be an addition or an adjustment to your current experience. Some of you might realise that you already have everything that makes you happy, and others might not. So, if you do feel incomplete, give voice to that and listen. To make changes means you may need to face challenges and obstacles. You need to find the courage to face these and walk forward. Challenges are there for learning, the rewards are only received once the lesson has been learnt. So be brave, grow and follow your inner guidance!